From Fractured to Fairytale (Part VI)

Cancer is merely one chapter of my life… It is not the whole story and definitely not the end….. The end is a long way off and the in between is full of  happily ever after…..Livonne

 

So, finally at the end of the exhibition chapters is Chapter 6, Just One Bite…. This chapter is another sculpture with an image again.  It talks of my recent bout with breast cancer.   There is a large poisoned apple in a glass coffin, with the apple representing cancer.  Snow White (me) lives on to make many, many more images, stories, mistakes and memories.  While it was a shock to the system to be diagnosed, it is just one part of a much bigger story and definitely not the most important.  The important part of this chapter is the fact that I am still here, I am well and I am happy.. That’s the take away from this chapter.

Again thank you to Brigitte Grant Photography for her images of the sculpture at the exhibition and for collaborating with me to make this image of me as Snow White. 

From Fractured To Fairytale (Part V)

All I want is a room somewhere.  Far away from the cold night air.  With one enormous chair.  Oh wouldn’t it be lovely…….Eliza Doolittle

So we’re up to Chapter 5.. and it is a bit different from the others as it is based around a sculpture, though still has my trademark photography in it.  It talks about my displacement of home and how difficult it is to find suitable housing in Australia if you don’t have a high income.  You are often at the mercy of unscrupulous landlords or neighbours who not only threaten your right to a peaceful existence, but also your physical and mental health.   Again, it is told as a fairytale and the image attached is the newspaper that laid over the top of my person sculpture.

This chapter is entitled, Ladybird, Ladybird, fly away home.  The smoke’s getting thick and the cameras are on.  (Many thanks to Brigitte Grant Photography for the image of the sculpture)

From Fractured to Fairytale (Part IV)

My life is like a circus….. Juggling thoughts at 3am… The distortions in the mirror show me weirder than I am…….Livonne

So the fourth chapter of From Fractured to Fairytale is about mental illness.  It tells of the battles I deal with that affect my daily life.  I set this chapter in a circus, as life can be a bit like that at times.  My brain can really work overtime some days and 150 thoughts per second are flitting through my mind, going so quick, I can’t even grab onto most of them.

But it can be quite amusing too.  I’ve accepted that my brain thinks differently to how I think it should think and I’ve come to be grateful for that.  Without it, how could I possibly find all these crazy ideas to photograph?

The fourth chapter is called “When They Were Up They Were Up and When They Were Down They Were Down”.

When Everything Hurts

3am Thoughts

Blending In

Anything I can do, I can do better

A Balancing Act

From the Rubble

Putting it Together Again

Soaking in It

 

From Fractured to Fairytale (Part III)

I put my arms around you and I hold you.. But then I wake and empty arms still make me weep….Livonne

So, continuing on from today’s post, this is Chapter 3 of From Fractured to Fairytale.  This chapter is entitled “All the King’s Horses and All the King’s Men, Couldn’t Put Mummy Together Again” and is about grief after the loss of my daughter on an access visit.

My model for this series was the wonderful Annalie.  It’s not easy for these young ladies to show such a deep understanding for the traumatic subjects they are working with, but they all did it amazing, with Annalie bringing the emptiness of grief to the images.  I’m so grateful to these ladies for being so wonderful.

Don’t Say Those Words

Broken Strings

Torn

A River of Tears

The Eternal Winter of the Heart

Why?

Where I Used to Have a Heart

Goodnight Blossom

 

From Fractured to Fairytale (Part II)

How can you stand beside the grave of pain and broken dreams.  Oblivious to what you’ve done and ignore my silent screams…..Livonne

A long while ago I wrote in From Fractured to Fairytale part1 about the joint exhibition I had just been in and how I’d made a chapter of my life as a fairytale.  I promised in that post that I would do 4 chapters of my life and present them for an exhibition.  Well that has happened.. In May 2019, From Fractured to Fairytale the exhibition finally came alive.  I’d had a few obstacles thrown in my way between that first chapter and the final outcome.  There is now 6 chapters.. that should tell you something.   But it is finally done.

This chapter I’m sharing with you today is about domestic violence, not a pretty subject but one that needs to be discussed.  I had the beautiful Tiana as my model and she brought a wisdom well beyond her years to this shoot.  When I’d finished shooting and uploaded the images to Lightroom, I was blown away by the emotion on her face and knew they would turn out to be an incredible set of images. Thank you Tiana.

So here is Chapter 2 of From Fractured to Fairytale entitled “How Many Flicks Till The Fly Flew Away?”

A Whole New (Fairytale) World

She knew she couldn’t calm the storm, so she calmed herself.  She bravely turned her face to the skies and allowed it to carry her away.  She embraced it.  She accepted it.  She became one with it.   She was tossed and torn by it but never gave up.  She learned from it.  She survived. When it was over, she was thrown back into the water.  She knew she could never be the same again.  She didn’t want to be.  She had endured the tempest and won.  She faced tomorrow with strength and dignity……..Livonne

And it all came to this! This page has been very quiet over the last year or so.  It’s been a crazy time.  I started working on the story of my life, with all it’s twists and turns, in the form of a fairy tale back in 2016.

Whilst in the middle of planning the next chapters and making props and sculptures for it, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  During treatment and recovery I pushed on to finish all the photography I needed to build the images and am still finishing the editing on that.

And now, it’s only just over 2 months until exhibition, so the pressure is on to get everything organised to do it credit.  There are 6 chapters to this story and they deal with childhood sexual abuse, domestic violence, grief over the loss of a child, mental illness, displacement of home and cancer.  Sounds gloomy doesn’t it?  But it’s really not.

Told in the form of a fairytale with each section having it’s own setting which explains what helped me get back up and keep going, it is full of hope.  It is a fully immersive exhibition where you get to walk through a story book and into new worlds.  There are lots of things to see, feel, original music to hear and lots of other experiences.

Hopefully the viewer will be left feeling inspired knowing that life can always get better and happiness is our birthright.  It is told as a fairytale as I have always identified with them.  They were my safe place as a child when awful things were happening and they are still my safe place today.

The dates of the exhibition are particularly significant.  It opens on May 1st which is my angel daughter’s 34th birthday and a year to the day since I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  It closes on 27th May which is the 24th anniversary of my angel daughter’s death.  These 27 days are usually hell on earth for me, full of sadness and ‘what ifs’.  This year they will be spent celebrating the roller coaster that has been my life, of which she has been such a huge part of.

My precious granddaughter was born on 31st May and from the day she was born I knew I had to make May a month of celebration again.  She deserves that and I know her angel auntie would say that’s exactly how it should be.  So the 27th of May this year closes the book of  unending grief and I begin a new story of celebration and hope.  The grief will never go away but it will be used to create rather than to destroy.

The exhibition will be held at Wild Valley Art Park which is located at 321 Blaxland Road Wentworth Falls NSW from 1st – 27th of May 2019.  It will be open Wednesday through to Sundays but appointments can be made on other days.  This is a brief video to give an idea of what to expect.  Special thanks to Nick from Filmclass Pictures for the fantastic video

Writing your own Happily Ever After – A story of survival & hope.

Dancing with Opportunity

Opportunity dances with those already on the dancefloor…….Unknown

A few weeks ago, I was having a glass of wine while I sat at my computer browsing Facebook.  It was late at night and I should have gone to bed but I wasn’t sleepy.  I was quite bored as there wasn’t much happening anywhere online and I didn’t feel like working on any photos.

An artist network that I had joined previously but never really looked at suddenly sprang to mind.  I always try to listen to those sorts of messages, so I went to the network to see what was there.  In the opportunities section, I found a call for artists to join a series of workshops which would be partly held at the Art Gallery of NSW.  Without thinking, I applied as applications closed the next day.

I’d forgotten about it by morning if I’m honest, so when my phone rang and I was asked to submit some images and a bio, I didn’t even remember what I had applied for.  I looked it up online,  sent my images through and was unbelievably blessed to be accepted.

So on Wednesday this week, I made the over two hour journey into the Art Gallery of NSW in Sydney and nervously waited to meet the other participants.  Wow!  What an amazing group of people.  We spent two days in the gallery, discussing art which probably isn’t generally my cup of tea but the more we looked at it, the more I understood it.

Often at galleries or exhibitions, we simply walk past the images that don’t grab us immediately so we miss the chance to embrace a different style of art.  The Art Gallery of NSW is an amazing place to visit and the Archibald Prize is currently on display so it’s a great time to visit.  We have another day next week at the gallery before we start to create in workshops at a studio in Western Sydney.

I am so excited at the thought of stepping outside my art comfort zone.  I’ve worked really hard to hone my skills over the last few years and am finally feeling confident in what I produce.  So to suddenly be presented with an opportunity to work collaboratively with other artists who work in totally different mediums and styles is incredibly exciting.  Nerve wracking but exciting.

Who knows where this will lead?  It could lead to great places or to nowhere.  But wherever it leads, I’m going to embrace the journey and have some fun with fantastic and inspirational people along the way.   It can only be a good experience.

In between this I’m also getting ready to shoot an exciting new series of images for an exhibition here in the Blue Mountains.  I’m busily sourcing costumes, locations and people for this and having a ball doing so.  I’ll talk more about this once the shooting starts.  There are also just everyday shoots I have planned to do and next week will have a mermaid swimming at my place.  Life is good!

For now, here are just a few shots I took on my iPhone at the gallery.  I was too busy soaking it all in to remember to take many photos and only had the phone on me anyway..  The shiny, imposing sculpture of Capt Cook is the work of Michael Parekowhai, a New Zealand artist and the painting is by American artist  Jamian Juliano-Villani.  The gallery is certainly worth a visit if you’re in Sydney and lunch in the beautiful Domain is always a treat.

Maelstrom

Survival was more than the preservation of life.  It was tenacity in the face of ruin, an unbroken resolve in the midst of defeat, a glimmer of hope in the maelstrom….. and peace despite the wreckage…..Jocelyn Murray

Well, I’m back.  I’ve finished the shift finally and am (almost) settled in the new place.  I have shifted many times in my life and I felt this harder than I have before.  I guess I must be starting to feel my age.  Everything seems heavier than it has before but regardless, it’s done and I’m finding the new place slowly but surely.

I haven’t started really started shooting yet this year which is not like me at all but soon I’ll be making up for that. I have many, many shoots planned and images dreamed up.  It was important to be settled first though as this year is looking like being huge.  I have travel plans and exhibitions happening so it will be all go.  I am planning my first solo exhibition this year too and there are lots of exciting things happening with that.

I’ve been planning it since last year and have actually shot a few pictures for the images I have in mind. One of the models involved was the lovely Ramana and whilst this is not the image which will be part of the exhibition, it was a favourite that screamed to be edited.  I guess it’s how I’m feeling a little bit too at the moment.. Finally feeling a little bit of peace after the storm.